Keep Your Enemies Close, Keep Your Clichés Closer
by Caffeinated Star
Summary: Because, no matter what, any time you stuck Naruto and Sasuke in the Valley of Time with a Rasengan, a Chidori, the Kyuubi, Madara, or seals, only one thing could possibly happen from there: time travel.


**Keep Your Enemies Close, Keep Your Clichés Closer**

It was the most epic fight anyone had ever seen. It was the ultimate showdown between two rivals, between two friends, two brothers, between Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto! After angsting for twenty minutes and having numerous flashbacks that made others wonder if they had some disorder, they finally began the fight.

Well, actually, it couldn't really be called a fight. All they did was trade one punch and then power up their most powerful attacks.

They forgot one important thing though. Inevitably, when mixing Chidori, Rasengan, two seventeen year old boys with the Kyuubi and Sharingan, and the Valley of End, something was bound to go wrong. And that something was time travel.

In this spot would be a lengthy explanation of _why_this time travel was occurring, and it usually had something to do with the Kyuubi, Madara, Kami, or seals, but all we need to know is that time travel is an extreme cop out to make the series how everyone thinks it should have gone. And we can't really blame everyone, especially considering the Uchiha's insanity that has overtaken everything... and the weird Eye of the Moon plan Madara had going on.

Seriously. The moon? How the hell was he supposed to get the moon? And wasn't the moon supposed to help regulate tides of the seas, and thus would screw everything up if it suddenly disappeared to become the Jyuubi's body?

But that is not the reason for this story. The reason for this story is...

Well, there is no reason at the moment, except perhaps to break down the Fourth Wall a lot. Eh, whatever. So, due to those couple of circumstances that was stated, Sasuke and Naruto ended up thrown back in time.

In the bodies of their baby selves.

Luckily, for Sasuke, he opened his eye to see his brother, though he was quite confused.

Unluckily for Naruto, he opened his eyes to see Kyuubi.

To say he screamed loudly was an understatement; the Yondaime thought the boy had already made a jutsu.

But that was a ridiculous idea.

However, musing on whether or not Naruto could have made a jutsu that used his lungs was, again, probably not the smartest idea. Why? Well, there was a giant fucking demon coming down on their heads that's why!

But in the name of the wonderful cliché, as soon as said giant demon got close to Naruto, he got sucked into the boy. How this happened, would usually be explained by some mashed up explanation that tries to sound smart, only to be completely skipped over by the readers because no one cared. Yet for the sake of the cliché, it happened, leaving Namikaze Minato extremely bewildered.

He accepted it though; after all, he wasn't dead, what could go possibly wrong?

* * *

><p><em>Three Years Later – Age Three<em>

"GAAAH! DIE!"

Uchiha Itachi caught his little brother by the shirt as Naruto watched with amusement. "Hi, Sasuke!" he greeted with the cheerfulness only kids or Naruto could attain.

"You two are acquainted?" Itachi asked, bemused.

"Oh, yeah!" said Naruto. "He's my best friend! But, he's kinda trying to kill me at the moment. Um, could you maybe hold your brother back while I run?"

"Certainly," Itachi said, watching as the boy hightailed it away from his murderous brother. Well, at least his brother made a friend... even if he was trying to kill said friend. He supposed it was the thought that count.

* * *

><p><em>Five More Years Later – Age Eight<em>

"Sasuke, please stop trying to throttle Naruto."

Iruka sighed. Why did he always have to get the Clan Brat class? There was the new Ino-Shika-Cho trio. There was the Inuzuka's youngest. The Aburame heir. The _Hyuuga _heir (he was still having flashbacks from Neji). The Uchiha Clan's youngest. And the Hokage's one and only: Naruto.

Apparently, Sasuke and Naruto hated each other. As can be seen from the way Sasuke was trying to kill Naruto. Wait, was Naruto dodging?

And...

"Hey, Sasuke, I bet you can't do this, yet!" Naruto cried from the ceiling, waving his hand at him.

The Uchiha growled, and ran up the wall. Naruto blinked. "Guess, you can. Hey, Iruka-sensei, I'm going to run now!"

Just like that, the two were gone, one chasing the other out the window.

Iruka could only stare. His two students had just used chakra. To stand on the ceiling.

He placed the papers down on his desk. "Excuse me, class," he said calmly. "I'm going to go find a substitute. And then I'm going to go get drunk."

Because if he was going to have to deal with _this_ class, then he was going to need a couple of shots of sake before he even thought about it.

* * *

><p><em>Four More Years Later – Age Twelve<em>

Iruka could almost cry in relief. The worst years of his life were about to end. He would never have to deal with the crazy Clan Brats again. He watched happily as they filed into the room one last time, talking and screaming with one another. His eyes warily chased Sasuke and Naruto, who walked in at the same time from opposite sides. They exchanged a nod, meeting in the middle of the room. The others quieted down, as hopeful eyes locked onto the pair, wanting to see blood drawn.

Evil little brats.

"Sasuke," Naruto said calmly.

"Naruto." Sasuke nodded.

Naruto held his hand out. Sasuke took it. A brief handshake later, and they were sitting in their seats next to each other.

There was not a sound. Everyone in the room froze.

"What, no fighting?" Inuzuka Kiba broke the silence.

Naruto turned his head to him. "Sasuke and I have come to an agreement," he explained. "Seeing as we're going to be genin together and take the Chunin exams together, we decided we couldn't try and kill each other outside the daily spar."

"You try to kill each other when you're sparring?" said Shikamaru, for once speaking up.

Naruto shrugged. "It's a living."

Needless to say, Iruka was all too happy to get rid of those two.

* * *

><p><em>Five Hours Later<em>

"He's late!" Naruto yelled, startling Sakura. Ah, good old Sakura. It was nice to see her.

"I'm sure he has a reason," Sakura offered up timidly.

Of course, she was completely different, seeing as he was the Hokage's son.

Naruto shook his head. "No, Hatake Kakashi is out to get me!" he declared.

Sakura cocked her head. "How do you know that's our teacher?"

"He's the only one late to everything by two hours on a regular basis," he said, hoping on to a desk. "Not to mention, he was my Dad's student."

That was still weird to say. _His dad._ Actually, everything about this was mildly screwed up. But, hey, he wasn't about to look a gift ramen in the bowl*. Or however the saying went. This whole situation was a bit screwed up anyway. At any moment, a paradox should be created, since each event would thus create a completely different future, meaning he would never have gone back in time. And, if he never went back in time, the original future would still be there. But if the original future was still there, then he did go back in time. Unless this was an alternative universe. But if it was an alternative universe, then why was he on Team Seven? Hell, he wasn't dead last this time around. So, really, none of this made sense.

Agh. His head hurt.

Plot devices. They sucked.

In fact, one was going to end this chapter right now.

Breaking the fourth wall. Sucks, doesn't it?

But, still, in the end, they lived happily ever after.

Thank you, deus ex machina!**

* * *

><p>*The actual saying is "don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Meaning, if someone gives you a present, don't examine it in front of them or look for something that might be wrong with it. Just take it.<p>

**Translates to "god out of the machine." When a plot device (like time travel) abruptly ends a story.

The creation of this story: This has been floating around my computer for awhile. And as much as I love time travel, even I know there are major problems with the actual process. I'm putting this as 'complete' for now. If anyone really wants to read more... well, review I guess. And if I get a ton of approval, maybe I'll work out another chapter. Maybe. BIG maybe. Thanks for reading!


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